


A Song is Worth it all

by GreenRogue



Series: In All their Angsty Hurt [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Karaoke, Little bit of angst, Sad Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester Sings, Season/Series 02, mentions of Jessica Moore - Freeform, sorry don't know where that came from
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25173565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenRogue/pseuds/GreenRogue
Summary: He blinks a few times and slowly realizes that the pool table was replaced by a small stage, a DJ booth set up behind it. Sam halts his steps and raises an eyebrow as Ash keeps walking. “Aaash—what’s all this?”a business venture for the Roadhouse has Dean laughing, and Sam looking back on fond memories. When he's asked to help, well, he never was good at saying no to his friends.Set in season 2, the boys take a small break from hunting the YED.
Series: In All their Angsty Hurt [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1480616
Kudos: 10





	A Song is Worth it all

**Author's Note:**

> Ya'll I didn't intend for angst. I really didn't. But then I heard this song after so long and I just couldn't help myself. Set in Season 2, the song is .45 by Shinedown, one of my faves when I was younger and I think it fits Sam so, so well!
> 
> I do not own SPN or the characters, I just like to hurt them  
> I do not own .45 or belong with the band Shinedown, I'm just borrowing their song.

* * *

“Sam! Dean! Sam and Dean, Dean and Sam! What is up my compadres?” Sam is rolling his eyes even as he smiles at Ash’s drunken enthusiasm. They’d been in the car going on 10 hours, their muscles were stiff and sore from the hard-backed bench seats and all either of them could think about were the beds waiting for them in Ellen’s trailer. They loved the Impala, truly they did, but even Dean had his limits. Speaking of which, the older Winchester had raised his hand to halt Ash’s ramblings and shook his head quickly.

“Nu uh man, Beer first—then shower—then bed. If my face isn’t meeting a pillow in the next half hour, something’s getting shot.” Ash backs up with a laugh and lets Dean pass without further comment. The other man makes eyes at Sam who fights back a sigh and shrugs his bag higher on his shoulder.

“What’s up Ash?” Sam hears Jo groan behind him but before he can turn to question her, Ash’s arm is slung over his broad shoulders and Sam is steered towards the raised platform at the back of the bar. He blinks a few times and slowly realizes that the pool table was replaced by a small stage, a DJ booth set up behind it. Sam halts his steps and raises an eyebrow as Ash keeps walking. “Aaash—what’s all this?” Sam watches as the man pulls out a rag and pretends to polish the side of the setup with a flourish. He smiles at Sam and throws his arms out in excitement.

“This my amigo, is the future of this bar!” Jo scoffs again and Sam hears Dean shortly after.

“That looks more like a karaoke setup—in a hunters bar—How many hunters can even carry a tune?”

“Shut up boy.” Ellen scolds as she wanders from the kitchen, arms full of clean glasses. “It’s Friday night and the local college is doing it’s bar crawl. Jo was tipped off that we’re on the list, this year and we need the business. Ash said this is what’s important and he hasn’t steered me wrong yet.” Sam smiles fondly as he looks back at Ellen before wandering over to sit by Dean. His brother scoffs into a bottle of beer and side eyes Sam for a second before smirking.

“How bout it college boy, any truth to that? You ever get yourself hammered and serenade the ladies?” Sam rolls his eyes and throws Dean a bitch face while pulling out his laptop.

“Shut up Dean—“. His brother snickers again and takes another drink. Sam is busy booting up when he hears Jo pipe up from her spot down the bar.

“Well? Did you?” He glances up and startles a little to see she’s staring directly at him, even Ellen seems to have turned some of her attention on him and he blushes before hiding behind his bangs.

“I, uh, I may have sung a few with a group of friends—nothing fancy.”

“Atta boy Sammy!” Ash shouts from the stage. He hears the booted feet jump down and head his way before he feels a clap on his back. “You’re gonna sing for us, tonight right? C’mon you can’t say no”. Sam is already shaking his head, hands up in defense as his cheeks blaze with a deeper blush at Dean’s laughter.

“N-no you really don’t want that. I’d just scare everyone away. Besides, Dean’s always been the singer in the family.” Dean downs the rest of his beer and backs away from the bar shaking his head.

“Oh no you don’t, no way am I gettin’ up there and singin’ for a bunch of spoiled college kids. Besides, I’m beat. I’ve had my beer, now it’s shower then bed. You stay Sammy, enjoy the local wildlife.” Dean winks at him and Sam sputters to try and retort but his brother’s already gone. Sam sighs and shakes his head muttering under his breath. “Jerk”. He looks back at Ash’s pleading face and feels a small twist of guilt in his stomach. He glances over at Jo, then Ellen, seeing both of them watching him curiously. Finally Sam sighs and runs a hand over his face.

“Alright, look—if you can’t get anyone to start you off, then fine—but not before, just try to give it an honest effort okay? You probably won’t even need me.” Ash claps him on the back and gives him a thumbs up before hootin’ in excitement.

“Tonight is gonna rock!”

* * *

Tonight was far from rockin’. A few hours had come and gone since opening and there was a steady stream of college kids coming and going like Jo said, but so far the most Ash was able to coax up were a few Sorority sisters already wildly drunk and screeching in the microphones to “Don’t Stop Believing”. Sam glanced up at Ash’s profile again and felt his stomach turn in sympathy. The guy was really trying. He sighed into his beer before nodding at Jo to get her attention. Downing the luke warm beverage, he shut his idling laptop just as she sauntered over, bar rag tossed carelessly over her shoulder. She leaned across the bar towards him and smiled slightly with a wink.

“You’re gonna do it aren’t ya?” Sam glanced around the bar again. There were a few groups of random college students, another sorority had taken root by one of the pool tables, cheering the few frat boys that were hustling each other for shots. As far as he could tell, other hunters had steered clear of the Roadhouse tonight—Ellen had probably told them of the crowd tonight and warned them off, the traitor.

“Gimme a shot of whiskey—I’m gonna need it.” Jo giggled a little and did as he asked while Sam stood slowly from the stool and made his way towards Ash. The guy had a strong face on, but Sam could see he was disheartened. He tried to smile as Sam approached.

“Hey Sam, ready to give it a shot?” The barely concealed hope had Sam shaking his head in exasperation.

“Alright Ash but on two conditions—” Ash clapped his hands and gave him a thumbs up with a smile.

“Anything mountain man, name it!” Sam leaned over Ash’s shoulder to look at the selection he had available, smiling when he saw one of his number one choices. He would never admit it out loud, even under the pain of torture—but Sam had adored going to karaoke with Jess and Brady. He pointed at the screen and gave Ash a stern look.

“This one—and if you tell a soul about this—I mean it, one soul—remember I have guns and have learned how to hide bodies really well.” Ash squinted at his screen and let out a low whistle before nodding.

“Whatever you say boss.” By now Jo had joined them next to the stage and handed Sam his shot. She rocked on her heels, a smile threatening to burst on her face.

“I cannot wait to see this.” Sam grimaced as he knocked back the shot. Shaking out the sudden nerves in his belly he handed back the glass and pointed in Jo’s face.

“Same goes to you Jo—if you tell a soul, not even Ellen will be able to find you.” Jo just laughed as she sauntered back to the bar, grabbing empty glasses as she left. Sam heard the starting guitar refrains of his choice and he hopped up the small stage with a huff. He eyes the microphone in front of him for a second while licking his lips before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

_‘Send away for a priceless gift  
One not subtle, one not on the list  
Send away for a perfect world  
One not simply, so absurd  
In these times of doing what you're told  
Keep these feelings, no one knows  
What ever happened to the young man's heart?  
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart’_

It was like the world fell away for those few minutes. The metal of the stand warmed beneath his fingers and Sam felt his mind wander back to a different bar. One cooled by an overworked air conditioner. Tables too close but beer too good. A blonde woman swaying by a table nearby, her eyes misty as she watched her awkward boyfriend get into the music she insisted he try.

_‘And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45  
Swimming through the ashes of another life  
No real reason to accept the way things have changed  
Staring down the barrel of a 45’_

As the music lulled quietly, Sam took a second to open his eyes and for a moment was slightly disoriented. He’d forgotten he was at the Roadhouse, the strangers staring at him from across the bar and by the pool tables, were not faces he thought he would see and he caught himself for a second looking for a familiar blonde. Swallowing back the sudden pressure in his throat he focused back on the microphone in front of him before his emotions got the better of him. He took another deep breath and closed his eyes, never noticing Jo sneaking out the kitchen door.

Images of Jess filled his head, the way she would sway while standing while he sang—her eyes alight with pride and love as he would sometimes make a fool of himself but it made her laugh and that was all that mattered.

_‘Send a message to the unborn child  
Keep your eyes open for a while  
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else  
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life  
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight’_

He couldn’t help it, Sam was getting into the music just like always. He gripped the stand with one hand as he pulled the microphone free. He set it aside, feeling the power of the lyrics building in his chest as he started to belt out the tune. From behind the kitchen door, Jo dragged a bleary-eyed Dean through and pointed towards the stage. It took the older brother a second to focus on what was going on and when he finally connected the dots, all he could do was stare.

_‘What ever happened to the young man's heart?  
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart_

_And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45  
Swimming through the ashes of another life  
No real reason to accept the way things have changed  
Staring down the barrel of a 45’_

Sam pounded against his chest, words flowing through him amplifying the pain of the past few months. The loss of Jess, losing their Dad—the hunt of the yellow eyed demon. Feeling the life he had tried to carve for himself crumbling away every day as the world of hunting stole back into his existence.

_‘ Everyone's pointing their fingers  
Always condemning me  
And nobody knows what I believe  
I believe_

_And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45  
Swimming through the ashes of another life  
No real reason to accept the way things have changed  
Staring down the barrel of a 45’_

Sam was breathing heavy by the time the song slowed and ended. It took a second for his pounding eardrums to catch up but when he focused on the bar around him he could see the frat boys and sorority girls had abandoned the pool tables and were standing just in front of the stage, hootin’ and hollerin’ at him. They raised a few half empty solo cups of beer in salute and Sam blushed profusely before smiling and stepping down.

He felt a few hands clap him on the back and Sam looked back to see a few girls circling Ash’s DJ set up, talking excitedly with him. A small smile crept up on his face and he nodded to himself. He felt good helping a friend, even if it was mortifying. Scratching the back of his neck, Sam debated heading to bed when he felt another warm hand ruffle his hair.

“Didn’t know you had it in you Sammy.” Startled, Sam turned to look at his brother who was staring at him with a broad smile.

“Dean? I thought you hit the sack, what’re you doin—”

“I went and got him”. Jo piped up, before plonking two new beers in front of them. “I knew he would kill us if he didn’t get to see that.” Sam scowled at her and felt himself blushing again. He tried to avoid making eye contact with Dean as he took a sip of the beer. He wasn’t really feeling like drinking anymore—but if he could prolong the inevitable teasing that he was sure to hear, he’d take it.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before the next person was on the stage, the start of some country song springing to life. Dean rolled his eyes and nudged Sam, indicating the backdoor and the two slipped away from the rambunctious crowd.

It was a short distance from the bar to the trailer, the two brothers walked side by side in the dark, the moon lighting their way. Sam held the cool beer bottle in his hand, feet scuffing up dirt as they walked. It only took a little while longer until Dean was glancing over at him.

“I didn’t know you could sing like that.” Sam just shrugged, taking a large swallow and smacking his lips.

“I don’t—not really—I never enjoyed it like you did. But—But Jess, she loved karaoke. We would go out almost every Friday.” Sam trails off, eyes lost in a hazy memory with a half-smile on his face. Dean watches him for a second before nodding.

“She really was something wasn’t she?” They stop together and sit on a pair of old plastic lawn chairs. Sam stares at the sky above them and Dean let’s the quiet blanket them easily. It takes a bit but finally Sam says,

“Yeah—she was—I wish you could have known her—” Dean covertly gazes as Sam’s profile, his brother's voice still haunting his mind as the fine residue of guilt and regret taint his taste buds. He dumps the rest of the beer before sighing.

“Yeah Sammy—me too—“.


End file.
